Holly’s Review

What and THE fuck is this thing? I mean, each day I get hundreds of gorgeous, full, thick dicks to check out… You send me this? Really? What is a grown woman, let alone a virgin college girl suppose to do with this. Hehe, even an 18 year old fresh out of high school has fucked bigger objects than this nub. This is what makes it such a baffling ideal that you found a woman to marry you???? Such a bummer, it amazing that a living, breathing man could be given such a pathetic cock to offer up to women. The good news is there are women with serious issues that do not like dick as all, this is probably your best bet, I say anal play, but really no idea what the F you would even do there. Cum hard by jerking it with your little fingers, and you can’t even last long!?? Lol idk. This cock has little use when it comes to fucking for fun, and I would imagine this dick could barely reproduce. Good luck baby, let the laughs continue….

Holly

Bailey’s Review

What a sad excuse for a cock! It’s so small and soft and floppy. Can you even get it hard and please a woman with it? Well, even if you could get it hard there’s no way you could ever please a woman with it! You’re lucky that I’m even looking at it right now! I can’t even begin to imagine how disappointing it would be to have sex with you and that pathetic little cock. I can picture myself coming over to your house with every intention of hooking up, wearing my sexiest matching bra and panties and being super excited to get fucked by you, I’d be so naïve and have no idea how disappointed I was about to be. I’d come into your house after you opened the door for me and we’d settle in on the couch and put on a movie or TV show. After a few minutes of pretending to watch whatever was playing on the TV, we’d move closer to each other on the couch and start making out and touching each other all over. I’d feel my crotch start to get wet and warm and I’d finally lean over and unzip your pants, and that’s when the reality of the situation would hit me. I would see your tiny cock and realize that I would not get the orgasm I had hoped for, I wouldn’t even experience any pleasure at all. You would be beyond lucky if I kept going past that point but I would most likely just stop right there, get my shoes on, and leave. MAYBE if I was feeling super generous I would take your puny little cock in my hand and jerk it off a little bit, but the whole time I would just be thinking about how small it was and how it got lost in my hand because it was so small. If you begged enough I might suck on it a little bit too, but I’d have to be careful because it’s easy to choke on things that tiny! There would be no way that I would fuck you though, I would rather have nothing inside my tight cunt than something that small and flimsy and pathetic. You’d be lucky if I even talked to you again after that. I would be so mad at the incredible disappointment you put me through! I can’t believe how tiny your cock is, and what makes it even worse is that it’s so floppy and flimsy and isn’t even hard in any of the photos you provided! It makes me think that you probably can’t even get hard for a girl in real life so they’d be so disappointed about your squishy cock on top of being disappointed about how tiny it is! You’re lucky I even spent the time that I did looking at the photos you sent – you’re welcome for that!

Bai

Cassandra’s Review

Hello tiny little penis Danny Boy. Haha! How sad and pathetic. I would love the opportunity to see this dick in real life and give it and you the treatment you deserve. You don’t deserve any pleasure for having such a small cock like that. You deserve to be made to be my little slave and spend your whole life pleasing ME instead. That tiny little dick doesn’t deserve to feel good.I’d keep you in my basement and use you for my pleasure whenever I wanted to, just like the woman in the gif is doing. I would come down every morning to remind you how small and pathetic your little dick is and then do whatever I wanted to you. For example I could get you naked and tie you to a table, just like in the gif. I would ride your face like that woman is doing for hours and you wouldn’t even get to complain because someone with a dick as small as yours doesn’t have a right to complain about anything. I’d have plenty of punishments lined up in case you acted up. The most severe punishment would be for if you ever tried to jerk off or please yourself any way. You need to remember how small and pathetic your cock is and you need to understand that a cock that small doesn’t deserve any pleasure. Not from a beautiful woman like me and not even from your own hand. I don’t anticipate that being a problem because it looks like from the photos that you can’t even get that tiny little thing hard anyway. It looks so flimsy and floppy and I could just squeeze my hand around it and feel how squishy and soft it is. Even if I wanted to let you have a reward of my beautiful tight pussy squeezing your cock, it wouldn’t even be possible because you probably couldn’t even get that tiny thing hard enough to get it inside of me. I guess it’s not so bad for me that you have such a pathetic little dick because that means I can make you my slave and have you around to please me whenever I want it. It sure is bad for you though. You wouldn’t ever get any pleasure and you have to live the rest of your life knowing that not only do you get any pleasure, but that tiny little thing would never even be able to provide pleasure to a woman. You and your tiny little cock would be lucky to be my slave and eat my pussy and finger my tiny little cunt and please me however I wanted to whenever I wanted to. It’s the most action you’ll ever get! You’re welcome for even looking at your cock and even considering the idea of letting that tiny little thing be anywhere near my beautiful naked body.

Cassie

Tyler’s Review

When I first saw this dick pic sitting at the coffee shop,  I didn’t know whether to shut my computer in embarrassment for having such a pathetic thing on my screen or turn it towards my friend so we could have a good laugh! I think you will be humiliated to know I decided to show my friend and she laughed so hard she almost pissed her panties! What the fuck is with that nipple of a dick sticking out beneath that massive gut of yours! How in the fuck did a woman sign up for this? Even if you were more in shape when you first met, I don’t think there is a medical issue where your cock shrinks in size as you get older. That poor woman either hates sex, or is fucking a real dick behind your back… If I wasn’t gagging at the site of it I’d definitely be gagging at the thought of eating it! The bellend looks like it belongs on the tip of a mushroom not a penis! It’s hysterical! Me nor my friend would ever dream of letting you penetrate our perfect pussies! You are the definition of inadequate! Have you made your wife cum? It makes perfect sense if you haven’t! This is one wildly grotesque specimen of a dick! I give you a dick rating of zero and that is only because you gave me and my friend lots of laughs!

Ty