Mia’s Review

Wow, what a tiny little baby shrimp dick! I pity any woman that swipes yes on their dating app and gets a date set up with you, loser boy! They’re going to go on one date with you and see what a loser you are because your dick is a tiny little clitty! You’ll never be able to please a woman with that pathetic loser dick! You can’t even really call it a dick! It’s more like a small thumb in you pants! How sad and lonely you must be trying to rub that dick between your finger tips because that’s all you can manage since you’ll never get a woman to love a dick like that! Wow, maybe you should go to a farm and offer the horse your dick because it looks like a baby carrot sitting in the grass between your legs! Come on dude, you’ve got to learn something about manscaping! No woman wants a bushy carrot to play with! You might be able to use a woman’s belly button as the pussy to stick that little dick in because no woman is ever going to let you near her pussy with that pathetic loser dick! You’re going to live a very sad loser life all alone, shriveled up in the corner just like your tiny little dick shriveled up in your pants! Do yourself and the world a favor and never take that dick out of your pants! Leave it tucked away in your little whitey tighties and continue rocking loser status over there! Haha!

Mia

Zoey’s Review

What on earth do you have dangling between your legs? Is that a real cock or did you steal a tiny little hotdog hor d’oeuvre wrapped in a blanket from the lame party your friends threw you for your birthday and glue it between your legs? Aww, it looks so cute! Cute is not a cool word to use for a cock though, loser! No one wants a cute cock! What are we supposed to do with a cute cock? Smile and pet its head? I guess so because that’s all it’s good for! A tiny little pet inside your pants where it belongs! Poor little cock! You must be so embarrassed when you’re around real men with real cocks because you’ll never live up to those standards! Those men deserve real, beautiful women to love their cocks, but you don’t because you’re just a lousy, dumb guy with nothing to offer a woman. Your mom must have thought you were a girl when you were born with a cock that looked like a tiny little clit! What a sorry son you are and such a disappointment to your mother to even be able to call you her actual son. She should have named you Regina instead of Richard. Haha! I feel so bad for any woman who gets to be with you! She’s going to see your cock, laugh her ass off and have to go grab her dildo instead since that cock isn’t going to be able to please her in any way! 0/5 stars for you, loser dude!

Zoey