Bailey’s Review

Sweetie… This dick you have here is suuuper weak. I mean honestly what am I looking at here? A pencil dick? Carrot dick? Who do you think you’re gonna get off with that skinny cock, hun? When Kate Moss said nothing tastes as good as skinny feels, she didn’t mean cocks. Fat cocks taste like Filet Mignon. Your cock probably tastes like vegan cheese. That tiny thing couldn’t even stretch my tiny little petite pussy… If you stuck that joke of a cock in my gorgeous cunt, there’d be enough room for me to fist myself at the same time. You call that a dick head? That head just looks like a tiny worn out eraser on top of your Ticonderoga pencil cock.  The one thing it won’t be able to erase is this hilarious cock from my memory. Also why is your head so red? It looks like your cock had to walk three miles in the snow to get to school. Honestly, at this point, I think I’d get off easier fucking my own pinky finger than your cock. I see you’re hiding your balls in most of those pics too. Probably because they are just as pathetic…. Also, didn’t you think about trying to get rock hard in these pictures so I can see your dick in its prime? In these pics you just look flaccid as fuck, as if your cock would just bend in half like a cheap dildo. What did you do to deserve a cock this unusable? Overall, this thing you call a cock is laughable. Hopefully you’re really good at going down on women cause this cock is sure to leave women wishing they had gone straight home after the dive darling….

Bai

Mia’s Review

Ummmm, do you have any other skills that make you worth keeping around? Seriously, I would love to know. This cock is so  tiny, it looks like a little munchkin. I’m sure there are dwarfs who have cocks larger than this. I can’t imagine that this cock gets much use during sex, you must have a hurricane tongue. Even your fingers would feel so much better that munchkin that he’s carrying around LOL. I bet I can’t even wrap my whole hand around it, I would probably have to use my index and thumb, that’s a sure sign that your cock is USELESS.  All of that skin surrounding your munchkin isn’t helping either, maybe you should become celabet, and then we won’t need to worry about using this thing for sex.  If I was your wife, you would be a cuck and that’s only if you knew how to cook, clean, balance my checkbook, run errands, and suck my pussy clean of another man’s cum Hehe. Everyday you would get the chance to watch as a man with a real cock fucked me. Wait, where are your balls? Those two marbles in your sack aren’t doing a good job of pretending.  I wouldn’t want you around my house, you would probably jizz all over the pillows from sexual frustration. I would only let you hump me on Christmas if you got me something reeeeeeaaaallllllly nice, and that would only be my leg… Thank you for sending me these photos, because this little munchkin dick has given me my laugh for the week.

Mia

Zoey’s Review

LOL there is really no nice way to say this and it makes me a little bit of a bitch but…. You have a really ugly cock. Crack me a can of Fresca with a shot of vodka. As soon as I saw it all I could think was “eww”. Your cock is a complete let down in so many senses of the word. Look at all of the beautiful cocks on this site that I see every day… seriously… go look. Aren’t they beautiful, big, long, strong, heavy, girthy, and just downright sexy? How does it feel to have a monster cock? And not in the good way… but  in the creepy don’t get near me way?  Hell would have to freeze over before I even touched this thing. I feel visually assaulted by your grotesque cock, it really something that should be locked away. You’re a part of the small cock crew but you do have enough to actually penetrate a pussy… and the only way you’re going to get the opportunity to fuck a anyone is if you keep the lights off. But you are so short that you are  going to have to hump her like  a Chihuahua …lol. My little cunt is far too beautiful to ever have a meeting with you.. this is like a realistic tale of beauty and the beast and there is no happy ending.  Your cock gets a -3 out of 5 and that’s only because you have enough length to fuck a desperate woman.

Zoey