Zoey’s Review

Woooooeeee! That is one Itty Bitty Cock!! I sure can see why you are single Mark… Yes I can. You cock is sooooo tiny that I wonder if it could even make a decent butt plug!!! You’d have to scissor like a lesbian just to get that little nub of yours to rub a girls clit!!! Okay…to be fair, if mabe you’re a  grower and not a shower, then maybe this cock might make a decent butt plug…maybe.

With such a tiny cock like that can I even do length, girth, head?? Wouldn’t it be tiny, tiny, tiny? Itty, bitty, miniscule?? Don’t get me wrong…if all you want is to be slapped in the face with a big sac of balls, you’ve come to the right place!! Your package has a well define sac. It looks like some sort of momma testicle trying to nurse a fetal kangaroo. Those are tiny by the way, if you didn’t know. You dick skin looks like a pupa that will never become a butterfly. Poor, poor little penis. The upside is that cock has the most adorable tip. You can’t call it a helmet or a mushroom head. Just a wee little heart. I’d be tempted to smear a chunk of lipstick on it, and use his heart shaped tip as an applicator. Lip gloss, fuck me red, punk purple?? Get that cock hard, get down on your knees and use it as a makeup applicator, because the lips on your face are the only ones that have a shot of getting anything useful out of that cock!!

Do you masturbate using just your index finger and thumb? I heard that men who fuck women after seeing other men ejaculate into those women cum harder and hotter. You may only be able to spit in a pixie’s eye, but maybe that could help? So what do I rate this one on? Manliness or micro-adorability?? I could rate it a 1 out o 5, but as far as being entertainingly small it gets a 4 out of 5.

Zoey