Cassandra’s Review

Oh Daniel, how can I ever explain what a pathetic loser you are? I have no words for the shame you should have showing me your useless dick! Are you wearing women’s panties? Well, I hope so because that looks like what you deserve to wear. With a tiny shrimp dick like that, you’re basically a woman with an enlarged pussy. What a loser! No wonder you are single! No woman would ever want to come near a shrimp dick like yours. I mean, come on, dude, you haven’t even done any pube trimming! Didn’t your mama ever give you a lesson on that? That’s just gross! No one wants to go down on a dick and get a mouth full of pubes! Your balls are even bigger than your dick! How sad is that? Can you even jerk off with that small of a dick? Oh wait, you don’t even deserve the pleasure of your own fingers on your dick because you’re such a loser! But I bet what happens is you are all alone every weekend while your friends are out getting fucked by hot chics and all you have is your porn and your two fingers to try and get some pleasure for yourself. You are destined to be alone and never know what it is like to love a woman. No woman wants to be around an ugly dick like yours. Do yourself a favor and hide that dick away where it belongs. Never show anyone that terrible dick!

Cassie

Tyler’s Review

Ewww, can you even call that a cock? If you think your cock can even get near a woman, think again, loser! You are the most pathetic excuse for a man that I have ever seen! I would not even call you a man because you are more like a girl with a big clitty! Yes, that is what it is! A big clitty in your pants! Bahahaha! What a fucking loser you are! And OMG, all that hair down there is so disgusting! How can you ever think anyone would want to be with you when your cock looks like a hairy clitty?! Gross! And are your trying on some ladies panties? Hahaha! That is hilarious! Little Lacey clitty boy walking around in the ladies panty department! Now that I would like to see so I could sit there with my girl friends trying to figure out if you were really a girl or a boy. Your cock looks like a limp worm with a bobble head on top and a skinny cock like that is a useless piece of shit! You have no chance at ever pleasuring a woman or a man for that matter because your cock is worthless and distasteful! When your ball sac is even bigger than your actual cock, then we have a problem, loser! No one has time to mess with that tiny, ugly lump of a cock! Go back to loserville where you belong with all the other clitty cocked men and their girly panties!

Ty

Mia’s Review

Can I just say NO FUCKING WAY! That dick is one of the most terrible dicks I have ever seen! You need to hide away forever so no one ever has to see that and want to barf! What kind of dick do you even call that? It is so teeny that it could be mistaken for a pencil in your pants! Pencil dick is now your new name! Put that on your Tinder profile and see just how many hits you get. HAHA! Probably none unless it is simply for the pleasure of getting to laugh their ass off at a worthless dick like yours! You keep trying to make it look better with those lace panties, little buddy! But there is no hope for you and your sad little dick! Your dick just looks like a floppy mess! And what on earth is all that bush doing down there. Apparently no one has told you to try to make your dick look bigger you need to shave all that! That might give you the illusion of a little more length….but honestly, with how small it is, I’m not sure there is anything you can really do to try and make your dick better! I have a feeling you are a sad and lonely little guy pining after the love of your life that doesn’t even know you exist because why would she look at a loser like you. You will never know the love of a woman because no one has time for you!

Mia