Cassandra’s Review

Ewww, an uncut dick is the worst! I am sitting over here almost barfing having to look at that and review such an awful looking dick! You should be ashamed at yourself for even sending that for someone to have to look at! You are such a fucking loser and no one will ever want to look at or touch a dick like yours! It is way too tiny for the likes of any woman so I’m very sorry to tell you, but you are destined for life of celibacy with a pathetic loser dick like that! You should hide that dick away and never let anyone see it unless you are a comedian and want to make people laugh their asses off. That will certainly do the trick, that’s for sure! “World’s stupidest dick” Yep, you win for that one! Bwahahaha! That is nothing to be proud of by any means! You should be very embarrassed to have a lousy piece of meat in your pants and know that you will never pleasure a woman in the way that you hope and dream for. That’s just it–only hopes and dreams because that will never become a reality for a dick like yours! You should know that all you can do is jerk off by yourself and watch your porn and only. wish you could be like those hot guys with the large dicks that make girls cum so hard. You will never be a real man worthy of a woman’s love with a dick like that!

Cassie

Tyler’s Review

What do you call that in your pants? A little pig in a blanket sausage bun? OMG how can you even consider that dick anything worth looking at? I certainly can’t! That is the ugliest dick I have ever seen. Don’t you know that women do not want a dick that is uncircumcised? That kind of dick is way too complicated to figure out and we don’t have time for that! Go get some surgery to cut that part off and then maybe, just maybe you might have a slight chance at getting a woman to love you. But think again about pleasing a woman with such a small loser member! She would barely be able to feel that enter her pussy because it’s like a baby thumb trying to get inside of her! She’d be constantly asking “Is it in yet?” And you’d be trying to fuck her, but she would feel nothing because it is so pathetically tiny and useless! Take your useless dick and find yourself a lonesome corner to jack off to all by your lonesome self! That is all you are worthy of with a pathetic loser dick like that! Don’t you wish you had a giant dick like all the porn stars you probably envy? Yeah, I bet you do, but guess what? You will never be even halfway as great as those giant dicked porn stars because your dick is trash and deserves to be spit upon instead of sucked like those big dicked men!

Ty