Tyler’s Review
Hey sweetie, my first impressions of your dick are as follows: EW. It took me a solid thirty seconds of hard looking to even find the sad little lump that you’re trying to pass off as a functional human penis because it just fades into the general lumpy doughiness of the rest of your stomach and groin region. And I gotta say, once I found it I couldn’t help but laugh! It’s hilarious to think that anything that tiny could ever be mistaken for someone’s actual dick. What is it, two inches while hard? Assuming your dick is even capable of getting or keeping an erection, which I sincerely doubt it is. Your balls are also hilariously tiny and I’m just imagining how pathetic it is when you cum. Is it just a little dribble out of your itty bitty cock? Because there is absolutely no way your teensy-weensy balls could produce more than a sad little splash.
I tried to think about what it would be like to attempt to have sex with you and your joke of a penis and had to stop half way through because I was laughing too hard. By the time I managed to find your teensy little cock in all that hair of yours I wouldn’t even be horny anymore! And there’s no way I’d be able to feel something so miniscule, even with my super tight pussy. Giving you a blowjob would be like trying to suck off a tic-tac and not even I could manage that! 1 out of 5 because you obviously thought you were doing something with the little picture collage.
Ty
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September 30, 2021 at 3:07 am
When Jessica told us she was not only going to let us see nude pics of our older, obese, loser and mutual cousin Phillip, but make him ask to have his dick reviewed with his penis pics posted online, we had our doubts, since he’s so shy. Even though she has him under her thumb. But here he is!!! Naked!!! lol!!! I always suspected Phillip had a tiny penis, but I didn’t think it would be smaller than my four-year old nephew’s! lol!!! And Tyler’s hilarious review? lol!!! She had me and my sorority sisters in stitches!!! We’re making sure to pass that around. lol!!! Perfect timing, too, with school back in session. And from now on, any time he meets any of my girlfriends, he’ll never know which ones have seen him naked. The answer of course is “all of them.” lol!!! Misty
February 26, 2022 at 5:55 am
Wow. What a dickless loser! And with that potbelly, you can’t even see your dicklette without a mirror. Ha. Ha.
January 10, 2025 at 8:47 pm
Dear Tyler,
I know I should more regularly thank you for sparing me additional public humiliation.
You graciously cropped my face out before displaying my nude pics above with your dick review of me and I really, really appreciate that.
Sure, I know you had absolutely no obligation to do so and that you still don’t. My female cousins tease me endlessly that you shouldn’t have and that you could always change your mind. (gulps!)
I sure hope you won’t but I have to acknowledge it’s certainly within your rights to do so.
Gratefully yours regardless,
Phillip