Mary’s Review

OMG if I  could give an award for the world’s biggest loser, it would go to you, loser cock boy! Do you seriously think you ever have a chance with a woman with a weird bendable cock like that? How on earth can you cock even do that? That doesn’t look normal whatsoever! You definitely need to go get that checked out by a doctor! I  feel so sorry for any woman who has the chance of being with you because she will have no clue what to do with a cock like yours! When you try to stick it in her pussy, does it bend up on itself and not work? How terribly pathetic is that! I do not even know why you bother getting a review written when you clearly know your cock is totally worthless to a woman looking for a lover! You would be the laugh of every woman around when she got to see your cock! And fucking A, what the hell is wrong with you, dude? You left all those red haired pubes for someone to gag on when they tried to go down on your worthless cock! Did no one ever teach you that shaving those disgusting hairs is the proper thing to do if you want to at least be somewhat attractive? Geez! Get a clue, loser cock boy! I  would love nothing more than taking that cock and putting it into a museum of the world’s oddest oddities! I  bet you would win the first place prize for the world’s weirdest looking cock because that is definitely one of the weirdest ones I  have seen to date! And believe me, I have looked at a shit ton of cocks in my lifetime! No one would ever want to fuck a cock like yours because it is ugly, way too floppy and basically a worthless piece of shit! It doesn’t even look like it’s very big to begin with so even if it were a nice straight cock, you probably would still be considered worthless with that lousy cock! No real cock should be able to ever bend in such a way as yours, you freaking loser! I  would love to be able to humiliate you in front of everyone and post your pictures all over the internet, showing the world what the world’s most worthless and weirdo cock looks like! Let’s see how many votes we can get! How fun would that be?! I can’t even believe I am wasting my time even writing this for you and you deserve to be shut away where no one can ever see your ugly face and disgusting cock ever again! You belong in the cellar to rot along with your hairy cock where the maggots can wiggle in and feast off your horrible cock. If you think a woman will ever love you and your flimsy, weird cock, you can think again, my friend! No one will ever give you the attention you crave, loser! 0/5 stars

Mary

Holly’s Review

Holy cow, how does that not hurt your dick? You are such a freaky weirdo being able to play with your cock like that! Does that actually feel good? Maybe you are such a freak that it hurts, but you still like it….? What a fucking psycho you are if you want to bend your cock like that and think you ave somehow super cool because your cock bends. Ummmm, that is not impressive at all! You suck and your cock is never going to get sucked! I  do not know any woman who would want to touch you with a ten foot pole, none the less have that nasty thing anywhere near her mouth! My god, what do you think you can do for a woman with a cock that weird? The answer is absolutely nothing, you weirdo loser! If I  were presented with that cock and you were showing me just how much fun it could be to bend it all around I  think I  might actually throw up because no, that is not fun and that is not cool. That is just freaking weird and grosses me out! No real and normal cock is supposed to be a bendy toy! That kind of thing is what you find in the toy section at Walmart, not on a man’s body! My god, have you never asked a doctor if that was normal? It surely is not normal to be able to bend in such a way! And so gross, mister, from the age spots on your hand, you look like an old man! What are you, a disgusting perv wanting us ladies to rate your old man cock? God, why don’t you find some other way to get your jollies on like, hmmm, let’s see, maybe enter your cock into a contest of who has the weirdest cock and maybe you could win a lot of money for that weird being in your pants! And come on, you are old and should know better than to leave all those curly-q’s floating all around in your pants! My god, take some clippers to that bush and at least TRY to make it look somewhat decent! No one wants a man with a bush anymore! Go back to the 1980’s if you want to keep a bush in your pants! God, how pathetic is that? You would be such a waste of time for a woman because your cock looks horrible and no woman would want to be around a cock that looked as awful as yours! Even the ball sac is ugly with all of those weird veins popping out! Do us all a favor and stop making us stare at your cock and tell you what you already know, you dumb ass man with a weirdo cock! I  am not sure how you have a wedding ring because I  feel like you are destined to be alone with a cock like that. Apparently your wife did not realize how much of a loser you were before she married you! 0/5 stars

Holly

Bailey’s Review

Holy hell, what the fuck is that? Is that a photoshop or what? That is totally unreal and extremely wacked! What the fuck? Your dick has got to be the wackiest dick I  have ever had to see and I just keep staring wondering how on earth it can move in all those directions? That is just not right, dude! What kind of worthless, useless man are you? Most certainly not a real man with a real dick, that’s for certain! A real man would not have a dick that can bend over on itself and then what, spring back up like nothing happened? Holy hell, that is completely unbelievable! I  would love to be able to play with that dick and see for myself just what I  could do. Is it like a spring that I  could bend over and watch it snap back up, over and over again? Ha, that would be a fun way to entertain myself! How many times can this wacko dick spring back up and wack my face? Although your dick is so unattractive I  would not even want to come close to touching it with my hands, not to mention my mouth! Your dick is not worthy enough to be touched by a goddess like me! It deserves to be alone forever, so please enlighten me, how in the world are you wearing a wedding band, but yet you say you are dating……???? Some poor loser woman must have had you as a last resort on speed dial because everyone else was taken and you were all that was left! LOL! Then because you were not pleasing to her she must have told you to go find some other women to fill your urges because she didn’t like your dick one bit! Well, I am here to tell you no woman in her right mind would marry a dick like that so either she was drunk or high at the time or she never saw your dick before the wedding! How did you sucker her into marrying you? It wasn’t with your dick, that’s for sure! It would have scared her away instead of enticed her to come marry you and be stuck with that dick for the rest of her life! Hell, she would be better off buying the best vibrator fifty dollars could buy instead of being stuck with your dick forever! I’m sure her vibrator would give her so much more pleasure than that wacko dick of yours! And oh hunny, let me tell you, you need to really work on your manscaping design! No, no, no, those pubes have GOT TO GO! Get rid of them pronto! If you shave, maybe by a slim chance, you maybe would get a date lined up, if you keep your wacko dick problems to yourself! If you know what’s good for you, you will not tell any woman you date about your wacko dick! That will save you some embarrassment down the road! 0/5 stars

Bai

Cassandra’s Review

Bendable play toy, that is what you are! Wow, I  have never seen anything like that, but I  am not saying Wow in a good way. That means wow in a bad way! That is the most putrid thing I  have ever seen in my lifetime! How in the world did you ever discover your dick could even do that? One day you were just wacking off and decided to try it and it worked? Jesus, what the hell, dude? Who in their right mind does that? That is psychotic! And to think you believe your dick is worthy and amazing for doing such a trick is the biggest laugh of all! I  would love nothing more than to laugh my ass off at your sorry ass dick and make so much fun of you with my friends seeing what you can do with your dick! They would die and we would embarrass the heck out of you! How about we put you on the street corner, naked, all tied up and blind folded with a tip jar nearby. We could market you as the bendable play toy dick man and “play at your own risk”! HAHAHA! That is so weird that I  don’t even know if anyone would leave a tip or if they would simply run the other way out of disgusted-ness and how awful your dick looks! Why the heck do you not shave all those curly red hairs off? Don’t know how that’s what old men do? They leave a nice bush because they think it’s in style! HA! Well, sweetheart, I’m here to tell you the bushes went out of style years ago and you need to do something about that! It just adds to the fact that your entire nether regions are jacked up and unworthy of any female attention! Just look at your hand, too! I can tell you have some age to you, you perverted mother fucker! You probably stalk young girls thinking they will love how much your dick is like a play toy that they could get a kick out of, but in reality you never get any of those girls because they are WAY out of your league! You are just a loner bendy dick man who is destined for a fate of loneliness! You will cry yourself to sleep every single night dreaming of the princesses you wish you could have, but know you can’t because your dick is so worthless and would never make a female’s pussy feel good and keep coming back for more. Any female would take one look at you and realize what a lousy lover you are with a bendy, pathetic dick and they’d say “deuces” and off they would go, never to return to you and your lousy dick again! Awww, poor baby! Does that make you so sad? Well, it should because that is the state of emotion you deserve to stay in with a dick as sorry and messed up as that one! Forget about having a lover, loser! 0/5 stars

Cassie

Vivianna’s Review

Well that is a loser cock if I  do say so myself! How much loser can one loser get? Not much more than that! On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the biggest loser, I’d label you a 20! Hahahahahaha! That is the most pathetic cock I have ever looked at and yuck, I  do not want to have to look at it anymore! Put that thing away where it belongs, all alone in your pants, sucker! It has no worthiness whatsoever! No woman should ever have to look at or play with a pathetic and grotesque cock like that! Talk about barf city! That should be one in the Guiness Book of World Records to win the prize of the most grotesque cock on the planet! Bending your ccok is SO NOT COOL! That’s just plain weird and way too freaky for anyone to handle! Weird is not good when it comes to a cock! Ladies want a nice, long, thick, straight cock that can pound her pussy so well and from the looks of yours, I  doubt you’d even be able to perform with a cock that bendy! It probably tries to fold up on itself when you try to slide into a pussy and what good would that do for a lady? Duh, it would do nothing for her, you loser! She would be waiting for such a wonderful experience and would get nothing but sheer disappointment when your cock was too lousy to perform in the way that it should! All should could do is laugh and never date you again! The best thing for her would be to warn all her friends to not swipe right on Mr. Bendy Cock Man! Or maybe instead of running away, she would like to have some humiliating fun with your stupid looking cock! Maybe she would like to try bending it all around and see just how much it actually bends and what it feels like. Maybe she would like to hold it in the bent position and see how long you could stand it being in that position before you give up! Or perhaps it turns you on when it it being bent and she could torment you with keeping you like that for hours until you had to bust a nut! How weird would that be to be turned on by your own bendable cock! Can you even jerk off with a cock that bendy? When you are technically hard, are you actually hard or does it feel soft because it is so bendable? I simply cannot imagine what that would feel like in my hand! But apparently you know just what it feels like since your hand is the only thing that cock ever gets attention from! Hahahahaha! Your loser cock probably never gets the attention of any lady’s hands our mouth because it is so pathetic and ugly! You are probably sad and lonely every day thinking about what could have been your potential had you just been born with a normal cock! 0/5 stars

Viv

Tyler’s Review

What the hell am I  actually looking at right now? You think you have a normal cock and you are proud of the way you can move your cock? Well, sorry, fucker, that is not impressive at all! That is just plain and simply put-WEIRDO MAN!!! That should not even be possible, but yet here is a picture of a cock that is bent in half? How is that even comfortable and how can you stand putting your cock in that position?! It almost makes me cringe just looking at that and thinking about how awful that must feel to bend it all the way down like that! My goodness, that is the weirdest thing I have had to review in my life! You can even bend it sideways? That is super freaky! And even weirder is the red hair you have and how you are just spouting out with a giant bush in your pants! Not cool at all, freak! Take a bush whacker to that thing and make it look at least half decent with a trim or shave there! No one wants to feel like they have their backyard in their face when they open your trousers! Geeeeez! How simple is that to know you need to take care of that as the main thing for a cock to look good and yet here you are, with your loser self, all bushy and not even caring about it! Gross!! It is called plain hygiene, dummy so apparently you like to be a dirty old man with your dirty, bushy, bendy cock and balls! How do you expect a woman to be attracted to that forest in your pants? That is certainly nothing to write home about! “Dear Mom, so I  met this guy….and I just love his bush” said no woman ever! Haha! Do your loser self a favor and at least take care of that bush and then never ever show anyone that your cock is such a freaky piece of shit that can bend every which way, ok? Keep that weird cock to yourself and have a fun time jerking off all by your lonesome self because you can bet you will never get a date if anyone knows about your bendable appendage! Even your ball sac looks weird and looks like you have one nut and that’s it! Where did the other nut go? Or were you just born with only one nut to add to the weirdness of the rest of your cock? And just look at that head? It comes to such a fine point at the tip that it looks like you could cut some glass with it! Geeeez, do you hurt people with your pointy, bendy cock? And it looks like a huge arrowhead sitting on the top of your bendy shaft! If I  saw that in real life I  would probably be scared and freak out thinking I had to put that weird thing anywhere near me! Nothing can scare a woman more than weird bending cock like yours! 0/5 stars

Ty

Mia’s Review

OH HELL NO! Get that freaking weird ass dick away from me, bro! A bending dick is not something I  want to take part of at all! Look at how weird that looks and how weird not just the bending looks, but the whole entire dick! You are way too super hairy for starters and hello, didn’t someone ever teach you about cleaning all that fuzz away from your dick and balls? Come on, bro, you should know better since it appears you are an old man with that old man hand and all those age spots! I bet you are a horny old man pervert that gets off thinking about how women are looking at your dick and getting to see for themselves what a weirdo you are! Sicko with a terrible dicko! BWAHAHAHAHA! You are such a sicko that no one will ever want to be with you! I will just start calling you Old Man Perv! Old Man Perv with the PlayDoh dick because apparently it is moldable like PlayDoh! LMAO! Check out how much your dick head looks like a pointy little mushroom sitting on a stem! What an absurd shape your head has with such a huge chasm separating it from between your shaft! That is not sexy at all and you should keep that hidden very far away from any woman’s eyes if you know what is best for you! You will be stuck in the friend zone forever once your woman friends find out your dick is incapable of any action that would give them any satisfaction! You can kiss your dating world goodbye when you show your dick off to anyone! That is nothing but a scare tactic and now that I  think about it, maybe you should be in the adult haunted house and scare folks with your outlandish dick! Or maybe you can make yourself be a “dick in the box” game where people have to guess if it is an actual dick in the box or if it is a bendable toy to play with! I have a feeling most people would guess it was a bendable toy and how upsetting it would be to know everyone guessed wrong! I know all you’re dying for is to have a lovely woman desire your dick when all you will ever get is laughed at by every woman who is exposed to your pervy self with the bendy dick! Poor, poor pitiful old man with a destiny of loneliness forever! I almost feel sorry for you! Notice I  said ‘almost’! You’re the stupid pervy old man who decided to send me your dick pic and expect me to send you some praises! How dumb are you to think there would ever be anything nice to say about a sad dick like yours? You just couldn’t help yourself now could you? You just had to send these pathetic pictures and hear just how much I  “love” your dick! Hahahaha! What a fucking loser, you pervy old man! I hope you die alone with your bent dick in hand! 0/5 stars

Mia

Zoey’s Review

Oh man, how do you even expect me to rate such a bizarre looking dick? Ummm, you know you’re going to be getting zero stars for that one, bitch! With a dick like that, all you deserve is to be a bitch to a sexy milf like myself and obey every single thing I tell you to do! Since your dick is so flimsy I can put it to work by attaching a cloth to it and making you use it as a duster to clean off my furniture! You will bow down to me and know you are so unworthy of being in my presence. You are so unworthy that you will only use your dick for my pleasure and never your own sexual fantasies! You will never be allowed to touch yourself if I’m the boss of you! You will become my little bitch boy and I will own you and your loser dick! You will only ever get any pleasure on your dick if I request it to be in my presence, which would not be very often because I’m mostly turned off by that bendable thing and all your pubes overtaking your ball sack and base of your shaft! First thing we would do is I would make you shave that entire ball sac and all around the shaft so we could at least see what very little potential you may have. Little potential because yeah, little bitch, that dick is practically useless with its flimsy self! How do you expect a woman to play with a flimsy dick like that if all it does is flop all over? I highly doubt she would even know what to do with a loser dick like that. It’s so sad to think your dick is probably rotting away with no love or attention besides your own chaffed hand from wanking off so much by yourself! I  bet your dick cries every time it sees that hand coming for it once again and it’s just begging to be touched by a sexy milf instead of that old man hand of yours! Your dick is nothing more than something to laugh at. Look at how much it can zig zag and flop to the side and up and down. That is truly not a normal thing for a dick to be able to do and why would you even want to show anyone that weird characteristic? Do you think having a dick that can do that is cool? Do you think that makes you an alpha man to have a dick that can do “tricks”? No, little bitch boy, it’s not cool and not sexy at all. It’s much too obnoxiously weird for any words to express and you need to put it away for good! Don’t let anyone see that worthless, flimsy thing you call a dick! That pathetic thing is a sorry sight to see and is never going to be worthy of any kind words of affection! You should be glad I  even took the time to write this review for you, bitch boy! 0/5 stars

Zoey