Cassandra’s Review

What a pathetic loser you are! Your dick is the sorriest excuse of a dick that I have ever seen and I never Want to see it again! How can you even call it a dick? It is so small and ugly and should be locked in a cage and never let out! Prison for your dick is all it deserves since you are a pathetic excuse for man. I can’t even call you a man with that shrimp dick in your pants! You are just a little boy with a tiny wanker waiting for a woman to show you some love, but that is never going to happen because you are such a sucker! If you can barely get your dick up to porn how do you expect to get it up to please a woman? You will take too long, the woman will lose interest and walk away, as she should when in the presence of such a beta male like yourself! Gawd, I don’t even have enough words to tell you just how useless you limp dick is! There is absolutely nothing a woman can do to try and please herself with that dick! The most pleasing thing she would get from it is a barrel full of laughs because she would not let that anywhere near her amazing pussy if she knows what’s good for her! Toys are a better option than your sorry dick! Go back home in your little corner and wank off to porn because that’s all you will ever be worthy of! 0/5 stars

Cassie

Tyler’s Review

You ask what a woman would think of you if she knew you had the hardest time getting your dick hard? Well, she would not think anything because you are not worthy of one tiny thought from any woman. You are a total scum bag with the smallest, most sad dick I  have ever laid my eyes on. You do not even deserve the time of day, let alone some woman ever giving you any form of attention, not even a wink! With a dick like that you will never have anyone fall in love with you. Maybe you should just get a dog to fuck because that is all you deserve. And ewww, come on dude, you look like you are uncircumcised and that is the absolutely worst type of dick to have! Why on earth did your mom not do you a favor and cut that shit off? Jesus, do you think a woman will enjoy having all that gross extra skin flapping around when she was trying to go down on you? Hell no! The looks of your dick would make any woman run away! I  mean, just look at the way your head is shaped. Such a teeny little point that would feel like nothing entering a pussy! She would be asking “is it in yet?” Hahahahaha! What a sad little boy you are! How come you can’t even get it up when watching hot porn? Is there something wrong with you or maybe you are just part girl and your dick was meant to be a vagina instead! How sad is it that porn doesn’t even work for you! Fuck off, loser! 0/5 stars

Ty

Mia’s Review

If you actually think a woman would consider looking at your dick, you are sadly mistaken little fuck turd! You belong in a basement locked away where the only light your dick sees is when you take it out to pee! No woman will ever like you with a small dick like that! A few inches won’t even do anything for a woman’s pussy so you might as well give up on ever having a love life or sex life! Your dick is so small that I have seen dog penises bigger than yours! That is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen! I’m dying laughing inside just looking at that dick and knowing you think you could get a woman with such a dick as yours! You are totally fooling yourself if you think you are anything but a pathetic, beta male with a dick that has no use to any woman. You’re better off going to the store and picking up a fake pussy to fuck because you will never know what a real pussy feels like! Could you even get into a pussy since you can’t even get hard? Ha! Probably not! You would be sitting there trying your best to get hard and utterly failing while your girl tapped her toes in annoyance waiting for your dumb dick to even try to get hard! How stupid are you? Probably the stupidest fuck turd I have ever seen! You can’t even call yourself a real man because your dick is so small! Bye loser! 0/5 stars

Mia