Holly’s Review

Wow! You call that a dick? Are you sure it’s even there? I can’t even find it in that cage you’ve got going on between your legs! It’s like the cage overtakes your poor, limp, lame dick! But that’s exactly where a dick like yours belongs! Locked up forever and owned by a hot goddess like myself! What a pathetic little virgin boy you are! How can you ever expect to make a woman happy when you can barely see the tiny little nub you call a dick? It’s like a tiny skinny, pathetic carrot between your legs! Maybe you’re not an actual guy, but a girl with a little clitty to try and rub to get yourself off. Can you even rub something that small anyway? It’s the smallest dick I have ever seen in my life and I laugh at the idea of you thinking you might ever have a chance with a woman! You’re the most pathetic loser I have ever seen and I pity any woman that goes on a date and finds the disappointing sack of shit you have in your pants. You’re going to be a virgin forever because she’s going to run fast and far away from that ugly loser shrimp dick! You can’t even call yourself a real man with a tiny baby carrot dick like that! I hope your future girl friend has a good dildo to get her off because there is no way she’s going to come even close with that loser dick! You suck so bad…too bad your dick isn’t big enough to get sucked as much as you actually suck! Hahaha!

Holly

Bailey’s Review

Aw poor little loser guy! What a loser you are with a skinny little dick in your pants! That is one of the smallest dicks I’ve laid my eyes on! It looks like a little finger dangling off a sack of nutsh! All locked up and sad, you should be super embarrassed by a dick that looks as awful as that! How dumb you’ll be if you ever get a girlfriend and have to pull down your pants for her! She’ll be laughing for years about the most pathetic loser dick she once saw that she was maybe going to have sex with, but then saw it and turned that down pronto! You’ll probably never get out of being a loser because you’re going to scare away any possibility of a female ever loving that dick. It’s so pathetic that it doesn’t even deserve to be looked at by a woman! You’ll never be able to be a real man and give a woman any pleasure from a dick that small! I mean, how on earth would a woman even feel that skinny little pencil dick going Into her pussy? The answer is she wouldn’t! Poor little ugly loser! You’ll always be a poor loser with a loser dick! I bet you feel so bad sitting there all alone having to wank your own dick because no woman ever feels bad enough for you to want to love that dick! You’ll always be a loner stuck with watching porn and wishing you were a real man with a real dick! Go hide forever, little loser!

Bai

Cassandra’s Review

Wow, what a tiny little baby shrimp dick! I pity any woman that swipes yes on their dating app and gets a date set up with you, small dick man! They’re going to go on one date with you and see what a loser you are because your dick is a tiny little clit dick! You’ll never be able to please a woman with that pathetic loser dick! You can’t even really call it a dick! It’s more like a small thumb in you pants! How sad and lonely you must be trying to rub that dick between your finger tips because that’s all you can manage since you’ll never get a woman to love a dick like that! Wow, maybe you should go to a farm and offer the horse your dick because it looks like a baby carrot sitting in the ground between your legs! Come on dude, you’ve got to realize how small and pathetic your dick is! No woman wants a carrot to play with! You might be able to get a woman to suck your dick if you tell her its a straw for her margarita because that’s what that skinny loser dick looks like! Hahaha! No woman is ever going to let you near her pussy with that pathetic loser dick! You’re going to live a very sad loser life all alone, shriveled up in the corner just like your tiny little dick shriveled up in your pants! Do yourself and the world a favor and never take that dick out of your pants! Leave it tucked away in your little whitey tighties in its cage and continue rocking loser status over there! Haha!

Cassie

Vivianna’s Review

What on earth do you have dangling between your legs? Is that a real cock or did you steal a tiny little hotdog hor d’oeuvre wrapped in a blanket from the lame party your friends threw you for your birthday and glue it between your legs? Aww, it looks so cute! Cute is not a cool word to use for a cock though, loser! No one wants a cute cock! What are we supposed to do with a cute cock? Smile and pet its head? I guess so because that’s all it’s good for! A tiny little pet inside your pants, locked in a cage, where it belongs! Poor little cock! You must be so embarrassed when you’re around real men with real cocks because you’ll never live up to those standards! Those men deserve real, beautiful women to love their cocks, but you don’t because you’re just a lousy, dumb guy with nothing to offer a woman. Your mom must have thought you were a girl when you were born with a cock that looked like a tiny little lady clit! What a sorry son you are and such a disappointment to your mother to even be able to call you her actual son. She should have named you something girly and flowery to match your tiny, sorry, little dick. I feel so bad for any woman who gets to be with you! She’s going to see your cock, laugh her ass off and have to go grab her dildo instead since that cock isn’t going to be able to please her in any way! Your cock is exactly where it should be-locked up forever!

Viv

Zoey’s Review

OMG, what the fuck do you call that in your pants? What a tiny little baby dick that is worthless and will never have the chance to please a woman! Worthless and locked up is exactly what your dick is! Keep that lock on it and never let it out because it doesn’t deserve any attention from a woman! How can you even go to the bathroom with such a tiny little peepee? It’s so small that you can’t even aim it anywhere! It’s a good thing I  have a good vibrator because that carrot dick won’t ever be able to give me anything close to an orgasm! If you were my boyfriend, I’d have to use my vibrator every night while you were all locked up where you belong. You could never meet any of my needs with that shrimp dick in your pants! I’d make sure you’d have to sit in the corner and watch me enjoy my vibrator, too, to show you what a real orgasm feels like for a woman since you’ll never be able to give a woman one in your whole entire life! A real man deserves a hot woman like me, but you’ll never be a real man with a baby peepee like that little thing! Your cock is all locked up, just like it should be! That’s so sad! What a poor, pathetic little loser baby you are! I cannot wait to take these pictures and show all my friends and have the best laugh over what a tiny little tater tot you’re hiding in your pants! It doesn’t even take much to hide because it’s so tiny! Just shrivel up and hide away all alone, little baby boy!

Zoey