Holly’s Review

Wow, Andy, I’m giggling over here as I stare at your funny little dick! If you think your dick is long enough to hit me in the right spot, think again, my friend! I mean come on, the length of a toilet paper roll? That’s not anywhere near what I need! And not even fully filling out the toilet paper tube with your girth….awww, poor pitiful you! Such a sad little dick! The head looks like a giant mushroom on top of a veiny, weird looking shaft and your balls are like a droopy, wrinkly old man’s sac. Your dick is so small that I could most definitely fit the whole thing into my mouth and not even gag! And sweetie, don’t you know anything about manscaping? Ask you friend Google for some help there! The only way you’d hear me screaming is as I’m running away because I’m so horrified at the pathetic little thing you call a dick. Do I like it? Hell no! Put it away!

Holly

Zoey’s Review

Ummm, is that what you call a real dick? I’m sorry, but your length and girth are so not thrilling me at all. I need much more than a toilet paper roll to please my pussy! And you can’t even fill the whole width of the toilet paper roll. What a sorry little dick! The way your head protrudes way out over your short shaft is so not attractive. It’s like a bowl cut gone wrong! Not to mention, your ball sack is way too hairy for my liking! Hasn’t anyone taught you trimming can make you look more endowed? Could I fit that entirely in my mouth? Well, heck yeah, what woman couldn’t take that tiny little thing all the way in? Would we actually want to is another question! I’m not sure your loser dick deserves attention from a sexy lady! I highly doubt you could make me scream with that pathetic tool and it goes without saying, no I do not like it!  Keep it in your pants where it belongs!

Zoey