Mary’s Review

Oh my God, are you serious?! I’ve never seen a more pathetic cock than yours. If you want to dignify it with the title of a cock. That’s closer to a pussy if you ask me. Trust me, no girl would ever attempt to fuck that because it would be a waste of her time! That wouldn’t even go past her pussy lips!! That poor, sad excuse for a dick probably wouldn’t even make it past my teeth! What the fuck kind of sick joke would it be to get me all the way home before telling me that you’ve got a pussy where your cock should be. Not even that, a pussy would be more fun to play with than that thing. I probably couldn’t do anything other than laugh. Seriously though Dutch, thanks for the laugh!! I can’t believe you would want to post this publicly. It’s so tiny! I could just name this one little squishy. It reminds me of a little red button. I just wanna push it in and see how long it takes for it to pop back out to normal size. If you’re hard in all of these pics, does it just go back up inside of you when you’re soft? OH MY GOD THIS IS HILARIOUS!!

mary

Cassandra’s Review

If you took me home and “pulled” this out…first of all, how would you pull this out? There is nothing to pull here! You would need a pair of tweezers to jerk that little thing off. How do you masturbate? You would have to have tiny hands just be able to use your fingers. How is it even possible for you to have a dick so small?! There is no way any girl would be happy with you. You would have to have an outstanding personality to make up for a disgrace like that. In fact, I don’t even think a great personality will make up for a cock so small. Are you married? That’s a dumb question. No woman in her right mind would settle down with someone with such a sad excuse for man. You’re hard in all of those pictures? I regret wasting my time scrolling through them. How could you pleasure me with a cock like that?!  Dutch, you better be damn good with your mouth and hands if you’ve pulled me into your apartment this much, you better at least be able to make me cum somehow. This is just pathetic.

Cassie

Vivianna’s Review

Wait, let me go get my magnifying glass before I start my rating… Wait, that doesn’t help. Now I can just get an up close look at how pathetic you look. Is that a penis? Surely not. It’s so small. It looks like a button that I wanna push in with my finger and see how long it takes to pop back up. Oh my gosh, this is hilarious. How can anyone take you seriously in the bedroom? It’s so small that I don’t even know what to do with it. I’m not even sure I could get it in my mouth because it’s so small. I’m glad you didn’t actually take me home, because I can’t think of a bigger let down than rubbing against your pants and not even feeling a bulge to pulling down your pants to reveal this. You say “pull” out, but I don’t think you could pull that little pathetic cock out of anything, and I’m sure you won’t be anytime soon. How do you jerk off Dutch? It’s so short I don’t even think your fingers would be able to stroke it. Tweezers maybe? I’m moving on now. I’d rather spend my time looking at real men.

Viv

Tyler’s Review

HA! I know why they sent your pathetic little cock to me since I love such big cock and yours is far from anything I would be caught dead looking at if I didn’t have to. Why would you force us to look at such a pathetic cock? I cannot believe I have to look at this. It’s so small! I wish I could see it in person! I would like to compare it to the size of my pinky toe!!! Hahaha! I really needed a good laugh today, and yours surely didn’t disappoint in that category, even though it is sure to disappoint in every other one. Do you seriously take girls home? I feel so sorry for them. Do you at least warn them about your embarrassingly small cock before taking them home? Or do you just surprise them with that little thing you call a dick? If you were to take me home without warning me, I would be very pissed. I better have gotten a damn good meal, some really good conversation, and if I’ve wasted this much of my time, I would like to be able to cum too. I really hope you at least know a little bit about what you’re doing with your hands. I’m done looking at this pathetic dick now.

Ty

Mia’s Review

I cannot believe my eyes right now! Is that a baby’s penis? Oh my gosh, it’s so TINY!!!! Like a cute little dot on your body. Oh wait, that’s your hard dick? I’d say you’re giving it a little credit at one 3.5 inches. Honey, someone should teach you how to use a ruler. Why would you even try to take a girl like me home with a cock like that Dutch?? If you could even call that a cock! It’s terrible!! I cannot believe you would force us to look at this. And you want us to share it with everyone? Why would you want to do that to the world? Oh my God, your dick is such a disgrace. I thought the first picture made your cock look small. You say you’re hard in all of these pics?? Well, that’s just terrible. I feel so sorry for you and anyone you trick into sleeping with you!! I bet your girlfriend sleeps around a lot. There is no way any girl would be happy with that cock and only that cock. I bet she gets lots of big dick all the time because yours couldn’t please her if you tried. I would hope you were at least good with foreplay, because that’s about all a girl is gonna get from that. There is no way you could even reach a pussy with that thing. Haha! What a great laugh!!

Mia